Friends of Webster

Raised in the house, but field certified.

Anteaus

CAAF’s OPINION 

Sometimes, I wondered what I would feel like to be weightless once again.  You know the feeling.  Not a care in the world. Maybe, finances or a coveted new car but nothing serious. This is the feeling that I expected to feel before I turned 27, this June. 

I have always struggled under weight.  Whether literal or figurative, under weight, life is never easy.  My goal has always been to rid myself of the weight and fly, but rather, the weight remains. It is as heavy as my heart.  This blog wasn’t supposed to go on this long. My time to write on Friends of Webster was supposed to be definite. All of these assumptions reminded me of one thing.  Weight makes you stronger. Regardless of what happens in the future, this weight is a reality. The good and the bad of it is, it is all that I know.  I have carried it for so long.  Even amongst old academy friends, I couldn’t imagine what I felt like when I first met them.

This isn’t a sob story. It is a blessing. It is by this perspective that I find solace.  I am comfortable being thrown to the ground. I am comfortable with this weight, bringing me faster to the ground when I fall. This is likely where I will remain for a lifetime but I won’t fret because I have learned that this is when I am at my best.  There is an anecdote that I remembered from my high school’s mythology teacher, Anteaus was stronger when he was in contact with the earth.  Everytime he was thrown down, he stood stronger. 

So this is where I will remain, treading the earth while others take flight, at will. It only dawned on me, recently, that this livelihood is my strength. I am stronger than I would have been.  This opinion is linked above so that you can do what I did not, read it.  The outcome was important, the justification for it was not. I know what I need to do to make the best of my situation. I didn’t waste time mourning. In fact, like the growing strength of Anteaus, I felt a sudden strength and dignity.

I’ll be looking up from time to time.

 

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March 29th, 2010 Posted by | Because Barack Wouldn't Do it | 2 comments

A Picture Sent; An Email Received

Early this morning, my dad sent me an email with this picture embedded. Our relationship has grown a bit lately. I think that he sees what I am capable of and what I am trying to accomplish with the tools that the academy ordeal refined.

But…there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t remember the fondness of days gone by.  

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The picture made me smile because it reminded me of the promise that we felt we had, as a family. Years later, I am happy and productive. I will meet the expectations that I set for myself when my path was still easy and my road to success was defined. Today is indicative of a departure from that easy path and defined road, yet we still move along a tougher (often muddy) road with ease. My brothers are doing amazingly well at the Parson’s School in Greenwich Village and I can’t complain either. The point of this email is that there is a truth that we seldom communicate to one another. My wife expressed it in the response to the picture that I forwarded.

That is a really awesome picture, Web.  I know there are days you wish you still wore polished boots and a blue uniform to work.  I pray for you so often when I think about how hard that must be.  My hope is that the success God grants you in this new venture will allow that longing to grow more faint with time.  I love and respect you.

-Your Girl 

It has been four years. Will I ever be able to say that I no longer desire to serve? There is no sum of money that I’ll make, house that will shelter my family, or car that I will drive that will ever make me forget how proud I felt as that photo snapped.

March 8th, 2010 Posted by | Pictures Worth Seeing | no comments

Pennsylvania Ave?