Friends of Webster

Raised in the house, but field certified.

For Years…

For years, my most cherished verse in the bible was Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you.” I never thought that I had taken it out of context. I hadn’t. I really believe that my life will change for the better one day, allowing my family to fully live. See, my life is lived in two portals. I live for today but I live because of yesterday. I always think of my prayers from 2005 and 2006. I always prayed for protection. I was so scared back then. The seclusion almost killed me and back then, I felt that that was probably the point of having me in that seclusion.

You may not get what I am saying. In my mind, making me live a life on one of the world’s most suicidal Navy Bases (Groton to be exact), literally across the river from an institution that meant more to me than my behavior exhibited. This led me to believe that they wanted me to quit on myself. I felt that they wanted me to kill myself. So I remember that verse, playing through my mind. “I am going to get through this, I am going to get through this.” I remember thinking that as long as I can tell my story, there is no way that I will be damned to hell for the rest of my professional life. But things didn’t happen that way. I lost one of many but that one did me in.

Even so, I kept that verse close to my heart. And I built a family with it, I went back to school with it, I built a life with it. A life for my family, starring the most important little four year old princess in the world. So here I am today, over six years later. And I am reading the context of Jeremiah, FINALLY coming to God with a full heart. I need this.

I need to be free but I also need to tell you a little secret, I am not upset at all. The CRAZIEST thing about this ordeal is that the pain built me. And I know that the unwelcomed pain that the compromising moments shared by the people involved all shared, made each of us stronger and better.

I had a dream that continues to play in my mind. That dream involves resolution, freedom, truth, and progress. Yes, the crazy thing about this is that I would hug everyone involved. And thank them without an ounce of remorse. It’s time to live.

Jeremiah 29:7 is the crux of this entire passage: “Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.” I pray for the prosperity, not just of the friends that love me today but from the opponents that were after me yesterday. It’s time to live.

July 29th, 2012 Posted by | Dear Mr. President | no comments

Left Alone

One of the most frustrating things for me to watch over the past few years was how often people related to this case (other than myself) have had their names dragged through the mud. I wish they’d be left alone. There have been a lot of dreams lately. People sending me messages describing the impact that I am supposed to have. A friend of mine from Houston, texting me about the same thing regarding Lindsey. It’s been interesting. But I’ve had a couple of dreams on my own. And while this sounds odd, I still hold most everyone that was involved in high regard. So much so, that I one day imagine (dreamt, actually) that resolution was words away.

I had a dream that one written paragraph would save my life. One paragraph, written by one person. I know that none of this is over yet. Not in a negative sense, but a positive one. The way that I’ve always seen it is that I can’t blame anyone who protected themselves from retribution. We were all 21 year olds in compromising situations back then. In a way, we were all pawns. I just want this to be over with. And I want everyone left alone to live their beautifully married lives as mothers and fathers. I thought that I was unbreakable, but I was wrong.

July 25th, 2012 Posted by | Dear Mr. President | no comments

What A Story. (Please God, Please…)

Who would have ever thought this to be possible?

May 25th, 2012 Posted by | Dear Mr. President | no comments

So Many Different Approaches.

Everyone wants me to do something different but I’ve never been an inflammatory or subversive person. I’ve always been sort of scared of it. I’ve always just sort of waited for something to happen, despite the fact that I don’t believe in that method – in any other aspect of my life. But a resolution to this, for me, can’t come by my own doing.

It bothers me that the others involved in this case get bashed by pundits. I have never really blamed them or been upset with them. I mean, it was an environment where by nature – when your position is vulnerable – you will do anything to survive and graduate. “Revering honor” in every situation is not always easy – especially when there is a chance that you won’t be enrolled to revere it. That’s the reason I can’t hold it against anyone for doing something or saying something that they didn’t believe with their full heart. I don’t blame them because I would have died to graduate from that school. With only five months left, after a 4 1/2 year journey, I would have taken a bullet to graduate if it were necessary.

My Dad sent me a verse, this morning. James 4:3 Ye have not because you ask not. So maybe he’s right, maybe I’m still fighting this because I haven’t asked. Can I please have my name cleared now? Chew on the question and if, by chance, you have some say or influence over the matter – and you want to actually help, please move that direction sooner than later. Seven years is a long time to fight for something and it’s no easier today than it was in December 2005.

April 20th, 2012 Posted by | Dear Mr. President | no comments

Pennsylvania Ave?